Bad news first: The garage door opener broke and now I'm stuck trying to figure out if I want to fix it by buying a $25 replacement part or just using it manually. Like Mr. Hedberg said, "Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience."
Additional bad news: I think the weed killer I bought was improperly mixed (by me) so it didn't kill any weeds and instead made them hardier. One of them actually said, "Thanks for the drink, ya pansy" to me when I passed it this morning.
More bad news: My house still kind of smells like the turkey bacon I cooked two nights ago.
Good news: This post about the state of things made me smile. And I would have embedded it but the overlords of the internet disabled it.
Indifferent news: If you are in the east valley area and are having a yard/garage sale, THINK about your sign placement. Address is nice, directional arrow is better, bright color is assumed, but expecting me to wander around your neighborhood looking for your notecards taped on cacti is a little much. If I can't find your sign, how am I going to spend 50 cents for an additional charger for my laptop?
Also, if you are planning a sale, don't just pull out a chair for you to sit on and spill your trash can onto the driveway and call it good. No one wants your "Aloha, 1992" plastic visor set (of two). Or your toothbrush holder that might have been chrome when you bought it. Or a stack of National Geographic magazines. Marketing 101 people: If your old sweatshirt smells like cat pee to you, then it smells like Satan's bladder to the rest of us. Also, it's safe to say that a box full of VHS tapes (Days of Thunder, Star Wars: Episode 1, Jurassic Park, How to Raise a Child, et al), though certainly full of sentimental value, is not going to be a good way to earn back the $450 you spent on it. I know there is that little voice inside of your head that says, "But someone might want it." Ignore that voice. That's the same voice that told you buy them in the first place and look where you are now: pushing them onto the less fortunate.
The following three videos made my week. The first one is potty-mouthed Christian Bale getting angry at a DP on the set of Terminator Salvation. It's a little long and laden with naughty language. The second one is David after the dentist. And the third one is the two becoming one.
Toby several hours post surgery. He's got a pain patch stapled to his stomach (green bandage), a white bandage around his neck to strap the cone to, a brown bandage on his leg to keep it straight, a yellow bandage to protect the IV site, is and horribly drugged up. But he is saying some incredibly profound things.