This one's for me/not for anyone else/I need it you see

I threw all I had, into the sea...

I voted on Tuesday, and it was a big deal for me. I hadn't voted in a few years and it was primarily from an economic standpoint: my vote doesn't count. It just doesn't. But a couple of weeks ago, I decided that if there was even a chance that Sen. Barack Obama could bring about the change he was championing, I wanted to say I had a part in it.

I went to the my polling place and got choked up as I walked to the door. I couldn't say why, really, I just felt that voting in this election went beyond civic duty, beyond being the right thing to do, and became something I was compelled to do because somewhere in this cynical mind of mine, I love this country. It was while reading Audacity of Hope that I realized that despite our nation's warts and ugly scars there is still something redeemable about this place.

And late Tuesday night, something happened that hasn't happened in years: I was proud to be an American.

Yesterday a couple of my coworkers (from Europe) said they were scared by McCain's concession speech, especially when he said that, "America is the greatest country in the world." I think they were concerned with the nationalistic tone of the statement and even, jokingly, compared him to Hitler and Mussolini. And I'm sure that blind nationalism is entirely scary to foreigners, especially those whose country was bowled over by tanks and guns and soldiers who believed their own country was the greatest in the world.

But a phrase like that is similar to saying your family is the greatest in the world. Not only is it relative (no pun), but you say it despite the members who don't talk to each other or the way they treat outsiders or their seemingly contradictory stance on gossip about other members. You say it because you need to know that something you belong to is significant. And you say it because you need convincing that you can put up with all of the silly/stupid/bad things. And you say it for you. It's not a judgment on other families; it's a statement that reconciles your sphere of influence with your insecurities.

And that's why I say this is the greatest country in the world: because when I compare America to other nations, we fall short in many ways. But when I realize that the same rich history which caused many of our problems also inherently allows us the ability to change who we are, I realize I wouldn't give that up.

I'm proud to be American. And I'm proud to have voted, not because it counted, but because I could.