For a long time I've puzzled over the relationship of post-modernity to science. How could something that claimed relativism with multiple truths be true if it could not be applied to every realm of truth? The scientific method seems to accept only one version of "truth" (you hypothesize, test that theory, and then have that theory proven or disproven) but if post-modernity is the death of reason, how will that relate to science.
Well, it seems like I'm not the only one who has thought about such things and the answer to my question came from the nerds at Wired magazine. Let me give me a quote: "But faced with massive data, this approach to science — hypothesize, model, test — is becoming obsolete. Consider physics: Newtonian models were crude approximations of the truth (wrong at the atomic level, but still useful). A hundred years ago, statistically based quantum mechanics offered a better picture — but quantum mechanics is yet another model, and as such it, too, is flawed, no doubt a caricature of a more complex underlying reality. The reason physics has drifted into theoretical speculation about n-dimensional grand unified models over the past few decades (the "beautiful story" phase of a discipline starved of data) is that we don't know how to run the experiments that would falsify the hypotheses — the energies are too high, the accelerators too expensive, and so on." (Here is the full link)
Lot of reading, and for that I'm sorry. When I read this article I got so excited. Data; pure, raw data is overwhelming the scientific process. So instead of looking for new theories, we now should look for causation. Pure brilliance, if you ask me. The world is now living post-truth and we don't know or care. And yes, I do acknowledge the irony: "If you swear/that there's/no truth/and who cares/how come you say like you're right."
6.17.2008
Doo, doo, doo, doot. Doot doot doot!
The title of this blog comes from the music Tivo plays for you while you are on hold trying to get them to talk to you because your Tivo freezes every few hours. I must admit, after 35 minutes on hold, I do feel a little more upbeat.
Post from yesterday went over so well, I think I'm going to make it a staple here at health & the pursuit of well-being. And by "went over so well," I mean that I kept laughing at myself while I remembered it today. As of yet, not one of the people listed has contacted me.
Time to go. Tivo finally answered.
Post from yesterday went over so well, I think I'm going to make it a staple here at health & the pursuit of well-being. And by "went over so well," I mean that I kept laughing at myself while I remembered it today. As of yet, not one of the people listed has contacted me.
Time to go. Tivo finally answered.
How Scandanavian of me....
Saw this today at a garden center and realized it's better than my reason...
6.16.2008
Psycho Killer
The following is an open letter to people I have met and probably should have told them when I knew/interacted with them but didn't for whatever reason. I have not changed any of the names because then what would be the point of that?
Mrs. Bobinsky, first grade teacher - I missed you a lot when you left halfway through the year. I don't even remember the replacement teacher's name, that's how much I missed you.
Joe ????? - You are one of the most genuine people I have met and always had a smile.
Jordan Bloom - One time you invited me to spend the night while we were in first grade and I didn't really want to but thankfully my mom said I couldn't. But you were one of the cool kids so I thought I probably should to improve my street cred.
Michelle Cason - You kicked me really hard once under the table in 4th grade and I have never been more mad at a female in my life than I was with you at that moment.
Adam Odell - Remember when we went to San Diego and hung out with your friend from back home and there was a huge party and the cops came and I hid in the bedroom because I was only 19?
Adam Book - Best concert ever - Blues Traveler: July 4, 1997. Oh wait, it was a terrible concert. I know Baker went with us, but I don't know who else. But you and I went up and met the saxophonist for Agents of Good Roots with the hopes he would let us go backstage and meet Blues Traveler. He did not.
Frau Ziesche, German teacher - Sorry about all the Nazi comments. I didn't truly believe you were a Nazi. Not that there is anything wrong with that...
Erin Vandertop - Sorry I made fun of the way you run.
Robin ????? - I still am embarrassed about meeting you for the first time and saying, "Like Robin Redbreast?" and looking down and seeing your red shirt.
Skye ????? - You really were a cocky guy. But you still made out with Kristen and she was a skank with a lazy-eye.
Michael Stipe - I had dream once that I met you and you converted to be a born-again Christian. Well? Did you?
Joe Reinsch - Sorry I never scheduled lunch with you after you came back. I just didn't know how much we had in common and didn't care enough to find out.
Gary Pine - We had met on at least five different occasions before that.
Mystikal - My friend Ryan Plant knows the words to all of your first few records. I think they all suck, though.
Jennifer Barbone - I probably would have made out with you if I had known you were coming on to me and not just lacking any concept of personal space.
Jeremy ????? - You always scared me. And then you tried to make me talk to Mikyla for you. And that scared me even more. But you were the only person I ever knew who owned a Sega Saturn.
Brian Petit - Tom Petty's Honey Bee makes me think of you, not for the obvious reasons, but because we sat in the Honda one day listening to the song and laughing at the absurdity of it. It wasn't until much later that I realized no one listened to Tom Petty.
Kristen Buonpane - We said we'd get married at 70 if we were both still single and to be honest, I was a little scared of that kind of commitment. If you want to back out now, I'd be fine with it.
In the Line of Fire - You made me push my mother on to the ground so I could see your climactic ending and then she said I couldn't watch R-rated movies anymore.
Dan Fody - I truly miss your humor and didn't realize how clever, creative, and brilliant you truly were until I didn't have you around. You are the only person I know who could write for the Simpsons. I hope you are.
Chris Kelly - Similar as above, except you also had a great laugh.
Rick Lehman - You were a jerk to me, most of the time.
Peter ????? - Same as above and if you weren't mentally handicapped somebody would have stopped you.
Random friend of the Hummels - I really didn't want that bucket full of rocks to hit you in the face but I kind of did, too.
Johnny and Jimmy ????? - Same as above, except the rocks were singular, not in bucket form.
Buzz Ziegler's daughter - In case you didn't figure it out, it was us who put the note on the motorcycle that said, "Is that your head or is your neck blowing a bubble?" and "Is that your head or did your pants fall down?" I know you saw Leslie acting cool like she didn't do it and I always assumed you figured out it was us because it was her.
Leslie Malcom - Why didn't you hide?!? It would have been SOOO much better!
Butterscotch the Calf - I bet I could ride you now...
Cory Sutton - I think I accidentally deleted an email from you because it was sent to my spam folder and I didn't check it before I deleted it but thought I saw your name. No way to retrieve those, though.
Keith Sutton - I stole your Red Hot Chili Peppers album "Blood Sugar Sex Magik" in 1995 or 1996. If you want, I'll buy you another one. By the way, the case was broken when I got it so don't expect a mint replacement.
Viviana Soto - Calm down.
Well, that's all for now. More later if the pen is willing...
Mrs. Bobinsky, first grade teacher - I missed you a lot when you left halfway through the year. I don't even remember the replacement teacher's name, that's how much I missed you.
Joe ????? - You are one of the most genuine people I have met and always had a smile.
Jordan Bloom - One time you invited me to spend the night while we were in first grade and I didn't really want to but thankfully my mom said I couldn't. But you were one of the cool kids so I thought I probably should to improve my street cred.
Michelle Cason - You kicked me really hard once under the table in 4th grade and I have never been more mad at a female in my life than I was with you at that moment.
Adam Odell - Remember when we went to San Diego and hung out with your friend from back home and there was a huge party and the cops came and I hid in the bedroom because I was only 19?
Adam Book - Best concert ever - Blues Traveler: July 4, 1997. Oh wait, it was a terrible concert. I know Baker went with us, but I don't know who else. But you and I went up and met the saxophonist for Agents of Good Roots with the hopes he would let us go backstage and meet Blues Traveler. He did not.
Frau Ziesche, German teacher - Sorry about all the Nazi comments. I didn't truly believe you were a Nazi. Not that there is anything wrong with that...
Erin Vandertop - Sorry I made fun of the way you run.
Robin ????? - I still am embarrassed about meeting you for the first time and saying, "Like Robin Redbreast?" and looking down and seeing your red shirt.
Skye ????? - You really were a cocky guy. But you still made out with Kristen and she was a skank with a lazy-eye.
Michael Stipe - I had dream once that I met you and you converted to be a born-again Christian. Well? Did you?
Joe Reinsch - Sorry I never scheduled lunch with you after you came back. I just didn't know how much we had in common and didn't care enough to find out.
Gary Pine - We had met on at least five different occasions before that.
Mystikal - My friend Ryan Plant knows the words to all of your first few records. I think they all suck, though.
Jennifer Barbone - I probably would have made out with you if I had known you were coming on to me and not just lacking any concept of personal space.
Jeremy ????? - You always scared me. And then you tried to make me talk to Mikyla for you. And that scared me even more. But you were the only person I ever knew who owned a Sega Saturn.
Brian Petit - Tom Petty's Honey Bee makes me think of you, not for the obvious reasons, but because we sat in the Honda one day listening to the song and laughing at the absurdity of it. It wasn't until much later that I realized no one listened to Tom Petty.
Kristen Buonpane - We said we'd get married at 70 if we were both still single and to be honest, I was a little scared of that kind of commitment. If you want to back out now, I'd be fine with it.
In the Line of Fire - You made me push my mother on to the ground so I could see your climactic ending and then she said I couldn't watch R-rated movies anymore.
Dan Fody - I truly miss your humor and didn't realize how clever, creative, and brilliant you truly were until I didn't have you around. You are the only person I know who could write for the Simpsons. I hope you are.
Chris Kelly - Similar as above, except you also had a great laugh.
Rick Lehman - You were a jerk to me, most of the time.
Peter ????? - Same as above and if you weren't mentally handicapped somebody would have stopped you.
Random friend of the Hummels - I really didn't want that bucket full of rocks to hit you in the face but I kind of did, too.
Johnny and Jimmy ????? - Same as above, except the rocks were singular, not in bucket form.
Buzz Ziegler's daughter - In case you didn't figure it out, it was us who put the note on the motorcycle that said, "Is that your head or is your neck blowing a bubble?" and "Is that your head or did your pants fall down?" I know you saw Leslie acting cool like she didn't do it and I always assumed you figured out it was us because it was her.
Leslie Malcom - Why didn't you hide?!? It would have been SOOO much better!
Butterscotch the Calf - I bet I could ride you now...
Cory Sutton - I think I accidentally deleted an email from you because it was sent to my spam folder and I didn't check it before I deleted it but thought I saw your name. No way to retrieve those, though.
Keith Sutton - I stole your Red Hot Chili Peppers album "Blood Sugar Sex Magik" in 1995 or 1996. If you want, I'll buy you another one. By the way, the case was broken when I got it so don't expect a mint replacement.
Viviana Soto - Calm down.
Well, that's all for now. More later if the pen is willing...
5.29.2008
...so I'll float till I learn to swim...
Running with the dogs tonight I had the oddest thought as I listened to this song: Jesus is a shadow. Every other metaphor and simile doesn't quite fit for me, but for some reason, that one works very well. And as Peter Pan pointed out, we can't pin down a shadow. Well, we can't unless we have a needle, some thread, a can-do attitude, and a chipper song.
I really hate how inadequate my words are. I have these super eloquent pronouncements in my head (Christ is a shadow) and when I put them into English it reminds me of a gorilla communicating with sign language: sure, Koko can tell us she's thirsty but for chrissakes she still flings poo at her friends.
Anyway, I was thinking about the old JC because I'm really wanting to write a story about a fraudulent children's author whose target audience is Christian youth. But I don't know how to end (or start) it for that matter. Danielle thinks I should have SOME kind of redemption-she says she needs to have it-but I'm not sure that it all ends that way. It seems to me that the ending to it all is more of a whimper than a bang, but what do I know, I'm just a fraudulent author....oh, wait.
School ended today with a whimper. I go back tomorrow to check out and do all of that stuff that ensures I am sufficiently annoyed. Because I'm sure that's the main point of it all.
I still don't have a job for the summer. (Note to future self reading this: If you are smiling, keep smiling because it must have worked out. If you are dismayed, sorry how the future ended up but you can only blame yourself. If you are frowning, you must have gotten in a terrible accident that doesn't allow your face muscles to relax because frowning for this long normally causes great discomfort. If the accident was your fault, just remember: It wasn't your fault.)
Well, time to try and beat GTA IV. Tell all the kids.
I really hate how inadequate my words are. I have these super eloquent pronouncements in my head (Christ is a shadow) and when I put them into English it reminds me of a gorilla communicating with sign language: sure, Koko can tell us she's thirsty but for chrissakes she still flings poo at her friends.
Anyway, I was thinking about the old JC because I'm really wanting to write a story about a fraudulent children's author whose target audience is Christian youth. But I don't know how to end (or start) it for that matter. Danielle thinks I should have SOME kind of redemption-she says she needs to have it-but I'm not sure that it all ends that way. It seems to me that the ending to it all is more of a whimper than a bang, but what do I know, I'm just a fraudulent author....oh, wait.
School ended today with a whimper. I go back tomorrow to check out and do all of that stuff that ensures I am sufficiently annoyed. Because I'm sure that's the main point of it all.
I still don't have a job for the summer. (Note to future self reading this: If you are smiling, keep smiling because it must have worked out. If you are dismayed, sorry how the future ended up but you can only blame yourself. If you are frowning, you must have gotten in a terrible accident that doesn't allow your face muscles to relax because frowning for this long normally causes great discomfort. If the accident was your fault, just remember: It wasn't your fault.)
Well, time to try and beat GTA IV. Tell all the kids.
4.13.2008
I think I can help, but not myself
Just downloaded the new Gnarls Barkley, REM, and Dodos. I like me the Gnarls. It goes well with breakfast. Haven't listened to the others yet but they had pretty good reviews and if someone else likes them, then I know I will have to also.
The clock on this computer is set to CA time, but also in the evening. So it says that it is 929 PM right now, instead of 830 AM. I tried to reset it but it auto corrected my changes. Which makes me wonder: what clock is it checking itself against? And if that clock is correct, why am I behind 13 hours? It does explain why my five o'clock shadow comes earlier than expected nowadays.
Nowadays: Underused phrase that should stay underused.
I took two tests yesterday to become a teacher. I don't know if I passed and I would mention which sections I had troubles with but that would violate the very serious agreement I made with the National Evaluation Systems people that said I would not discuss test questions with any parties. That and I forgot the sections I had trouble with. Something about the Constitution?
Well, that's all I have for now. More later if the pen is willing...
The clock on this computer is set to CA time, but also in the evening. So it says that it is 929 PM right now, instead of 830 AM. I tried to reset it but it auto corrected my changes. Which makes me wonder: what clock is it checking itself against? And if that clock is correct, why am I behind 13 hours? It does explain why my five o'clock shadow comes earlier than expected nowadays.
Nowadays: Underused phrase that should stay underused.
I took two tests yesterday to become a teacher. I don't know if I passed and I would mention which sections I had troubles with but that would violate the very serious agreement I made with the National Evaluation Systems people that said I would not discuss test questions with any parties. That and I forgot the sections I had trouble with. Something about the Constitution?
Well, that's all I have for now. More later if the pen is willing...
4.08.2008
When I am king, you will be first against the wall
I, too, have been disappointed with myself. Not only am I searching craigslist for summer work, but I just saw on Fox's hit tv show COPS a mulletted man get chased down by aging officers and eventually arrested. My wife just said, "You're an idiot. Tool." I think she was talking to the TV, not me. At least I hope so. That's what I get for sitting next to her while ruminating.
I am not sure what I'm going to do for the talent show that's coming up for school. I'm not funny enough to do stand-up (which is what my coworkers suggested today) and I'm not sure that I want to do anything that's not funny. D suggested interpretive dance. To Nickelback. I don't think I'm religious, but if I danced to Nickelback, I would be sure there was no God.
Stephen is doing well in the academy. It's fun to watch him get excited about something.
I just learned Radiohead is going to be at Lollapalooza this year. I wanted to have Lollapalooza in my jeans when I heard that. Which would be loud and uncomfortable, but SOOOO worth it.
I really need to learn to commmunicate in full sentences. And better spelling.
The end.
I am not sure what I'm going to do for the talent show that's coming up for school. I'm not funny enough to do stand-up (which is what my coworkers suggested today) and I'm not sure that I want to do anything that's not funny. D suggested interpretive dance. To Nickelback. I don't think I'm religious, but if I danced to Nickelback, I would be sure there was no God.
Stephen is doing well in the academy. It's fun to watch him get excited about something.
I just learned Radiohead is going to be at Lollapalooza this year. I wanted to have Lollapalooza in my jeans when I heard that. Which would be loud and uncomfortable, but SOOOO worth it.
I really need to learn to commmunicate in full sentences. And better spelling.
The end.
3.28.2008
Sister Christian, you're the only one
It is with an inflated sense of purpose that I write this evening and for that, I apologize. You see, something has been bothering me lately. And by something, I mean everything. [No wait, much too morose, you've got to seem chipper, man, like a gd chipmunk.] Never mind that, everything is fine, just fine, and just you wait and see what I've got lined up for you tomorrow....
Again, inflated sense of purpose.
School is going well. Today that kids seemed like they learned, which, oddly enough, is always a surprise. They were attentive, they paid attention, and it seemed like their minds never wandered [That was an English joke]. I have been working through certification classes quite well, thank you, except for the mid-term I took today. Wow. You think I would have done a little more planning for that one. Yikes.
The breathing is getting labored and I must insist that I go to bed. I've got a lot lined up for you tomorrow, you see, and I wouldn't want you blabbering on tonight whilst you waste away for the excitement tomorrow. In case you were wondering, I'm going out to breakfast tomorrow and then to a home and garden show. I am not sure that I ever expected suburban life to look like this and yet, it does.
Peace to all and to all a good night. If Becky Imboden is reading this, wow, you are committed.
Again, inflated sense of purpose.
School is going well. Today that kids seemed like they learned, which, oddly enough, is always a surprise. They were attentive, they paid attention, and it seemed like their minds never wandered [That was an English joke]. I have been working through certification classes quite well, thank you, except for the mid-term I took today. Wow. You think I would have done a little more planning for that one. Yikes.
The breathing is getting labored and I must insist that I go to bed. I've got a lot lined up for you tomorrow, you see, and I wouldn't want you blabbering on tonight whilst you waste away for the excitement tomorrow. In case you were wondering, I'm going out to breakfast tomorrow and then to a home and garden show. I am not sure that I ever expected suburban life to look like this and yet, it does.
Peace to all and to all a good night. If Becky Imboden is reading this, wow, you are committed.
2.05.2008
Tonight we can live as one
"I would do it again to see if I had survived through luck or by skill."
-Patrick Morrison, sophomore in my third hour, on his thoughts, feelings, etc on what he would do if he survived a NAZI CONCENTRATION CAMP.
-Patrick Morrison, sophomore in my third hour, on his thoughts, feelings, etc on what he would do if he survived a NAZI CONCENTRATION CAMP.
1.18.2008
He didn't mean to make you cry.
I know it's been a while since I posted last and I hate this to be my first one of the new year, new home, etc, but I couldn't pass this up.
The assignment was to use the vocab words in a sentence. This is what the new kid wrote:
"Mr. Spoon was enthralled when he saw me killing people."
Yes, yes I was.
The assignment was to use the vocab words in a sentence. This is what the new kid wrote:
"Mr. Spoon was enthralled when he saw me killing people."
Yes, yes I was.
12.07.2007
A woman needs a man, like a fish needs a bicycle
Well, I've just finished reading U2 by U2. Good book. Made me remember how much I liked U2. And good lord, can someone turn down the heat in this room? My face is melting off. It's oppressively hot in this room and makes me feel like I'm in the devil's butthole, which, sadly enough, would not be the first time I've been here.
I'm in CA now, getting ready to load up the car with stuff to take back to AZ. Just sitting. Waiting. And wearing a Fayetteville Parks and Rec shirt I bought at Goodwill a few weeks ago. It is orange, and fits me pretty well. I wish it didn't have a slight white paint mark on the left sleeve, but it works out in the end.
Seriously, it's hot in here.
For the past few nights, before I fall asleep these Bright Eyes lyrics run through my head: "There is no truth. There is only you. And what you make the truth." I haven't figured out yet if there is any truth to that statement (ignore the irony) but it certainly is something to keep an honest man looking for a lie.
It is really warm in here.
I haven't yet figured out yet if that maxim cancels itself out. I don't know that it can, but so what if it did? I'm just saying, day to day life seems a little pointless when one is wrestling questions like that, and yet all we have is day to day life. Odd, no?
Time to watch the end of Survivor. I hear the Chinaman gets voted out!
I'm in CA now, getting ready to load up the car with stuff to take back to AZ. Just sitting. Waiting. And wearing a Fayetteville Parks and Rec shirt I bought at Goodwill a few weeks ago. It is orange, and fits me pretty well. I wish it didn't have a slight white paint mark on the left sleeve, but it works out in the end.
Seriously, it's hot in here.
For the past few nights, before I fall asleep these Bright Eyes lyrics run through my head: "There is no truth. There is only you. And what you make the truth." I haven't figured out yet if there is any truth to that statement (ignore the irony) but it certainly is something to keep an honest man looking for a lie.
It is really warm in here.
I haven't yet figured out yet if that maxim cancels itself out. I don't know that it can, but so what if it did? I'm just saying, day to day life seems a little pointless when one is wrestling questions like that, and yet all we have is day to day life. Odd, no?
Time to watch the end of Survivor. I hear the Chinaman gets voted out!
12.03.2007
You have changed but I still feel the same...
Here is a note from a student who failed to turn in her bellwork on Friday (the work we do for the first five minutes of class):
"I don't have my bellwork becaus I forgot my notebook at home and my brother was hitting me on my head and you should feel sorry for me. So Im sorry"
"I don't have my bellwork becaus I forgot my notebook at home and my brother was hitting me on my head and you should feel sorry for me. So Im sorry"
11.09.2007
This is how you remind me of who I really am
[Recently found in a notebook left in class]
I DON'T WANT TO GIVE THE IMPRESSION THAT WE PICKED AND CHOSE WHICH CHILDREN COULD COME!!!
I DON'T WANT TO GIVE THE IMPRESSION THAT WE PICKED AND CHOSE WHICH CHILDREN COULD COME!!!
10.26.2007
Never going to be as big as Jesus
The following is a poem from one of my students. The actual assignment was to create a poem using an extended metaphor (remember, a metaphor is comparing two unlike things without using "like" or "as"). I have kept his formatting intact.
I Ball sky high And I try to not lie
Just like Jesus
I Ball sky high And I try to not lie
Just like Jesus
10.10.2007
I'm a holiday that you choose to ignore
I downloaded the new Radiohead album today. Not a bad job, gents. I must admit that it is very interesting to watch the band's progression. They are just brilliant, but this album doesn't have the raw energy an album like OK Computer had, nor does it have the ethereal feeling that Kid A had. And yet, it just feels right. Enough gushing.
I have given a lot of thought to being a writer lately. Fiction. But for the life of me, I do not think I have a mastery of the English language enough to make an impact. Is that my problem? Am I a fervent underachiever unwilling to apply himself until he knows he can succeed wildly? I read the other day that when he was young, Hunter S Thompson typed out The Great Gatsby word for word. His friends thought him pretentious and asked him why he was doing that. He replied, "I wanted to know what it would feel like to have those words come out on the paper." That has NEVER once crossed my mind and for some reason it was depressing. D said I don't have to create a brilliant work at once and that I should instead just revise something I already have. That sounds depressing to me; like I'm unable to come up with something new and have to settle for something else I've spewed out.
I wonder if that's how I'll end my life: waiting to start something.
Don't know if I blogged on this before, but there was a great article in Time about Mother Teresa losing her faith. She apparently went the last fifty years of her life without feeling God. That's a long time. Wonder how many more year's I'll have. The point is this: I'm sure Mother Teresa could have felt God if He were there. She didn't, so she found an alternative. The alternative was that He was testing her or that somehow it were for her own good. My question is this: What if she didn't feel God because He wasn't there?
I'm sure she wanted him to be there, so she could have invented him to be there but didn't. Instead she chose to wait until she could be sure it was him. And that didn't happen, apparently. I don't know. It's just weird.
D and I are going to rent. Tell the neighbors we're coming.
I'm making carne asada tonight. Should be good, judging by the amount of money I spent on food. Tomorrow D and I are going to Big Bear. I'm really looking forward to it. Not much else going on. Peace.
I have given a lot of thought to being a writer lately. Fiction. But for the life of me, I do not think I have a mastery of the English language enough to make an impact. Is that my problem? Am I a fervent underachiever unwilling to apply himself until he knows he can succeed wildly? I read the other day that when he was young, Hunter S Thompson typed out The Great Gatsby word for word. His friends thought him pretentious and asked him why he was doing that. He replied, "I wanted to know what it would feel like to have those words come out on the paper." That has NEVER once crossed my mind and for some reason it was depressing. D said I don't have to create a brilliant work at once and that I should instead just revise something I already have. That sounds depressing to me; like I'm unable to come up with something new and have to settle for something else I've spewed out.
I wonder if that's how I'll end my life: waiting to start something.
Don't know if I blogged on this before, but there was a great article in Time about Mother Teresa losing her faith. She apparently went the last fifty years of her life without feeling God. That's a long time. Wonder how many more year's I'll have. The point is this: I'm sure Mother Teresa could have felt God if He were there. She didn't, so she found an alternative. The alternative was that He was testing her or that somehow it were for her own good. My question is this: What if she didn't feel God because He wasn't there?
I'm sure she wanted him to be there, so she could have invented him to be there but didn't. Instead she chose to wait until she could be sure it was him. And that didn't happen, apparently. I don't know. It's just weird.
D and I are going to rent. Tell the neighbors we're coming.
I'm making carne asada tonight. Should be good, judging by the amount of money I spent on food. Tomorrow D and I are going to Big Bear. I'm really looking forward to it. Not much else going on. Peace.
9.18.2007
Don't stop believing
We were reading a story called "The Most Dangerous Game" when a question came up in my Teacher's Edition I thought I'd ask my seventh hour. The question was, "What role do you think the island will have?"
A girl from behind me and to my left said, "Gayborm."
I said, "What do you say?"
"Nothing," she said dismissively.
"Did you just say 'gay porn'?"
Everyone laughed and through her tears of laughter, she said, "No. Gameboard."
So now in case you hear differently, it was me who brought up gay porn in the classroom.
A girl from behind me and to my left said, "Gayborm."
I said, "What do you say?"
"Nothing," she said dismissively.
"Did you just say 'gay porn'?"
Everyone laughed and through her tears of laughter, she said, "No. Gameboard."
So now in case you hear differently, it was me who brought up gay porn in the classroom.
9.16.2007
Stuck inside of Mobile with the Memphis blues again
As I was importing "Please Hammer, Don't Hurt 'Em" into my iTunes, it struck me that I needed to blog a little ditty about some things.
First, I'm very glad that we asked Hammer kindly to not hurt 'em; who knows what would have happened if we hadn't?
Second, living 375 miles away from my wife was not a great idea. Sure, "it sucks now but it makes sense for what we're doing now," but seriously, not a great way to get closer. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that jazz, but if that were true, no one would live with each other. We'd all just move to our own Indios and hide and write love letters to each other. But we don't.
Third, Two Jehovah's Witnesses came to the door the other day. I had a nice little chat with them and now I'm thinking of converting. Oh wait, coming to my door and telling me I'm wrong about everything DOESN'T change my mind. On that note, my favorite bit of dialogue with them went like this:
Her: So you know the world is getting worse, right? What do you think about that?
Me: I don't think it's getting worse
Her: Well the Bible says it is. Look here at Jesus' words in Matthew blah blah blah where he says, "Nation will rise against nation." What do you think Jesus and his disciples were talking about?
Me: When he thought the world would end.
Her: And don't you think he's talking about now?
Me: No.
Her: Really? You don't?
Me: No. Because people have always been fighting.
Her: But you don't think it's getting worse?
Me: No.
Her: Well, we know reality says differently.
Which made me mad. But what am I going to do? I'm going to hell, according to her, so why would the opinion of one heretic change how reality operates? All that to say, if Random Female Asian Jehovah's Witness is reading, I'm sorry. I don't really care what you had to say, but what can you expect from a heathen. If quiet Female White Companion of Random Female Asian Jehovah's Witness is reading, what were your thoughts on the conversation? How did you think it went? Am I now:
a) Closer to heaven
b) Farther from heaven
c) Still on the fence
d) Future unclear; potential convert used logic entirely different than what they prepared us for in Sunday School.
Please send your remarks as soon as possible to me. My eternity is at stake!
In other news, D and I hiked Garcia Trail today. It was hard.
Well, that's all for now. I already made it through The Wallflowers and am now onto Pearl Jam. Keep up the good work.
First, I'm very glad that we asked Hammer kindly to not hurt 'em; who knows what would have happened if we hadn't?
Second, living 375 miles away from my wife was not a great idea. Sure, "it sucks now but it makes sense for what we're doing now," but seriously, not a great way to get closer. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that jazz, but if that were true, no one would live with each other. We'd all just move to our own Indios and hide and write love letters to each other. But we don't.
Third, Two Jehovah's Witnesses came to the door the other day. I had a nice little chat with them and now I'm thinking of converting. Oh wait, coming to my door and telling me I'm wrong about everything DOESN'T change my mind. On that note, my favorite bit of dialogue with them went like this:
Her: So you know the world is getting worse, right? What do you think about that?
Me: I don't think it's getting worse
Her: Well the Bible says it is. Look here at Jesus' words in Matthew blah blah blah where he says, "Nation will rise against nation." What do you think Jesus and his disciples were talking about?
Me: When he thought the world would end.
Her: And don't you think he's talking about now?
Me: No.
Her: Really? You don't?
Me: No. Because people have always been fighting.
Her: But you don't think it's getting worse?
Me: No.
Her: Well, we know reality says differently.
Which made me mad. But what am I going to do? I'm going to hell, according to her, so why would the opinion of one heretic change how reality operates? All that to say, if Random Female Asian Jehovah's Witness is reading, I'm sorry. I don't really care what you had to say, but what can you expect from a heathen. If quiet Female White Companion of Random Female Asian Jehovah's Witness is reading, what were your thoughts on the conversation? How did you think it went? Am I now:
a) Closer to heaven
b) Farther from heaven
c) Still on the fence
d) Future unclear; potential convert used logic entirely different than what they prepared us for in Sunday School.
Please send your remarks as soon as possible to me. My eternity is at stake!
In other news, D and I hiked Garcia Trail today. It was hard.
Well, that's all for now. I already made it through The Wallflowers and am now onto Pearl Jam. Keep up the good work.
9.01.2007
one nation controlled by the media
It's time to write. I've been working for just over three weeks in the classroom and am happy to report nothing bad has happened. Kicked out a couple of kids, given a few detentions, and faithfully covered some curriculum too.
I wonder if teaching high school freshman will make me stupid. I was fascinated by the Mother Theresa article in Time recently where her letters to her confessor were published. She admits to more than 50 years wondering if God was distant from her. It got me really excited about reading and writing about religion and I wonder how long it will take that spark to grow into a fire. Oh wait, every spark of friendship and love will die without a home. Meh.
I don't have much else going on in my life. I still find the idea of God interesting but have also felt a certain emptiness that is interesting as well. Death no longer scares me. Maybe it's a phase, but lying in bed listening to my heartbeat wondering if it will stop is now a game, not a fear.
I want to write something substantial. I have no idea what that would be. I want to submit my words to a process that might end up with their destruction although at this point I'm not sure if I want to put the work into it. That's what an underachiever gets: nothing.
Who here among us still believes in choice? Not I.
I wonder if teaching high school freshman will make me stupid. I was fascinated by the Mother Theresa article in Time recently where her letters to her confessor were published. She admits to more than 50 years wondering if God was distant from her. It got me really excited about reading and writing about religion and I wonder how long it will take that spark to grow into a fire. Oh wait, every spark of friendship and love will die without a home. Meh.
I don't have much else going on in my life. I still find the idea of God interesting but have also felt a certain emptiness that is interesting as well. Death no longer scares me. Maybe it's a phase, but lying in bed listening to my heartbeat wondering if it will stop is now a game, not a fear.
I want to write something substantial. I have no idea what that would be. I want to submit my words to a process that might end up with their destruction although at this point I'm not sure if I want to put the work into it. That's what an underachiever gets: nothing.
Who here among us still believes in choice? Not I.
7.28.2007
So hurt me, so hurt me, so hurt me...
So I'm moving to Arizona tomorrow, without my best friend, confidant, and lover. What a crappy situation this is. I can't help feeling like maybe if I play my cards straight and pay attention in class that I won't get this punishment. Am I sad? Yes. But it's very odd being sad for the future when it hasn't happened yet. Anticipatory sadness, what a lovely feeling brewing in my bones.
Speaking of bones, I'm watching a documentary on Bukowski. What an interesting gentleman. He makes me want to smoke and/or be an alcoholic. Neither of which I am. But he brings such a sensibility to self-destruction, as though it were the only way to pure truth. And maybe it is. I've never destructed, so who am I to say? Or have I? Who would know? Enough existentialism, let's get on to the movies!
I've joined Hollywood Video's super happy fun club or whatever that let's me get three movies at any time. So I've seen a lot of movies in the past few days. Highlight? Idiocracy, oddly enough. Lowlight? Miami Vice. Nothing happened in the whole movie! It was like the celluloid equivalent of a Nickelback CD. So I spit in it's general direction.
Speaking of nothing happening, I have noticed my train of thought derailing so, kiss my grits. I'm out.
Speaking of bones, I'm watching a documentary on Bukowski. What an interesting gentleman. He makes me want to smoke and/or be an alcoholic. Neither of which I am. But he brings such a sensibility to self-destruction, as though it were the only way to pure truth. And maybe it is. I've never destructed, so who am I to say? Or have I? Who would know? Enough existentialism, let's get on to the movies!
I've joined Hollywood Video's super happy fun club or whatever that let's me get three movies at any time. So I've seen a lot of movies in the past few days. Highlight? Idiocracy, oddly enough. Lowlight? Miami Vice. Nothing happened in the whole movie! It was like the celluloid equivalent of a Nickelback CD. So I spit in it's general direction.
Speaking of nothing happening, I have noticed my train of thought derailing so, kiss my grits. I'm out.
7.20.2007
I want a lover I don't have to love
Bright Eyes. Lest someone is concerned I'm actually shopping for lovers...
It has been an odd time. I have changed jobs and am now a high school English teacher, or, what I set out to be 8 years ago when I left high school. Maybe now I will walk the halls with pride.
The oddest part about having a significant event take place in my life is my propensity to dwell on it when I'm alone. It's not when I'm with others, only when I'm alone. Like falling asleep. Which I'm fairly certain is the most lonely part of the day. Sleep is starting to bewilder me, and dreams are even more bizarre. Does anyone else notice that we willingly submit to lose control of our conscious minds for 8 hours at a time? Every day? And we don't have an option in the matter? I'm just saying, I'm not getting any 666 tattoo until that whole thing is explained to me.
It has also occurred to me that this blog is on the internet for everyone to see. So I've taken the precaution to edit it appropriately. I apologize to those who were hoping for a direct feed into my brain (which I'm assuming from the number of people who read this will only be me, 5 years from now); it's too late. The feed has been interrupted; all you get now is the ABC, NBC, CBS bullshit (Bright Eyes again).
I went rafting a couple of weeks ago. I had never done that before. It was great. What made it great was the company (Stephen, Dad, and Adam) and the fact that I had to sign a waiver saying I wouldn't sue if I died. Hilarious! A piece of paper versus the end of life. And the paper wins! Anyway, the fear of death was enough to validate my manhood (or just the part of it that wants to stare death in the face and see itself in the reflection) and make me feel good. And now on to Arizona. So take that world.
Not much else. Packing to move. The accumulation of goods is mystifying and after someone explains sleep to me, maybe they can explain the tendency of humans to gain "things." I digress.
It has been an odd time. I have changed jobs and am now a high school English teacher, or, what I set out to be 8 years ago when I left high school. Maybe now I will walk the halls with pride.
The oddest part about having a significant event take place in my life is my propensity to dwell on it when I'm alone. It's not when I'm with others, only when I'm alone. Like falling asleep. Which I'm fairly certain is the most lonely part of the day. Sleep is starting to bewilder me, and dreams are even more bizarre. Does anyone else notice that we willingly submit to lose control of our conscious minds for 8 hours at a time? Every day? And we don't have an option in the matter? I'm just saying, I'm not getting any 666 tattoo until that whole thing is explained to me.
It has also occurred to me that this blog is on the internet for everyone to see. So I've taken the precaution to edit it appropriately. I apologize to those who were hoping for a direct feed into my brain (which I'm assuming from the number of people who read this will only be me, 5 years from now); it's too late. The feed has been interrupted; all you get now is the ABC, NBC, CBS bullshit (Bright Eyes again).
I went rafting a couple of weeks ago. I had never done that before. It was great. What made it great was the company (Stephen, Dad, and Adam) and the fact that I had to sign a waiver saying I wouldn't sue if I died. Hilarious! A piece of paper versus the end of life. And the paper wins! Anyway, the fear of death was enough to validate my manhood (or just the part of it that wants to stare death in the face and see itself in the reflection) and make me feel good. And now on to Arizona. So take that world.
Not much else. Packing to move. The accumulation of goods is mystifying and after someone explains sleep to me, maybe they can explain the tendency of humans to gain "things." I digress.
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