Don't you know that I love you...

Great article enclosed about 5 Scientific Theories that will blow your mind. I especially like number 1. It makes me feel small, which is nice, because I've been eating a lot this week →

There she goes (there she goes)

In honor of Stephen graduating from the police academy next week, here is a list of the eight greatest things he has ever said.

1. Yeah, I'll give you dime to do that.

2. It's both. Time exists internally and externally.

3. Screw Jerusalem.

4. Thick like can of Pepsi.

5. Herbie loves me.

6. I am a Mexican hero!

7. Pew, pew, pew.

8. Ha, ha, ha! (This came after a chair broke underneath me sitting on it.)

Shorty get down, good lord, baby got 'em open all over town

It has been a while since I have been around anything considered theology so it was with some hesitation that I viewed this video from a recent Veritas Forum at UC Berkeley. Featured was Tim Keller "noted pastor and author" and his general stance seems to be that thinking people can have faith in Jesus. Please note: the clip is long and the best part, in my opinion, is the Q & A section that starts around minute 50 or something. 

Keller was recommended to me by Brent Gudgel and if Brent recommends something, by God, you should listen to him. Here are my thoughts on what Keller says:

1.  I appreciate his willingness to believe and think.  This is a rare combination to find today.

2.  I appreciated his take on the societal birth of religion argument, that is, that if religion is born out of society, so is atheism, essentially negating the strength of the argument.  Doesn't necessarily negate the argument itself, but what are you gonna do?

3.  He polarizes too much ("Either Jesus did this, or he didn't...") which doesn't allow for my favorite area:  the gray.  (What if Jesus did do that, but not that way?)

4.  He's incredibly self-deprecating, which is disarming.  Love it.

5.  He doesn't engage in most of the undergrad doublespeak which academia loves.  He ignores it (see 1:11 - 1:19)

6.  He cites Lewis several times, which irks me, because it Lewis has fallen out of favor with most thinkers.  Sure, Lewis had a time and place, but I can't canonize him the way a lot of people can.

7.  I don't see him addressing the applicability of "the grace narrative" as he puts it.  Sure, it works out a nifty way to not just have the same old religion but in my mind there is a huge discrepancy between his interpretation of the text and life in the 21st century.

To quote Blackstreet:  "That's just me.  And that's how a player's got to be."

what it all boils down to my friends...

A video of my dog Sammy obeying me. Rumors continue to persist that I will replace the Dog Whisperer but I simply cannot confirm or deny those rumors.

I'm afraid of Americans...

Cheesus Christ!

And I ran, I ran so far away.

This tiny little box above this picture is supposed to be a fancy panorama from Barack Obama's visit to Berlin a couple of days ago. It's amazing to me the expression on people's faces and the concert like atmosphere. Makes me miss Bushstock '91. Follow this link for the experience that is this picture.

All I want is your understanding...

Stephen and I busting our tails to please the masses. Also, trying to fully understand life.

Mobile updates

That's right, kiddos, Daddy just set up his mobile updates.

Note: The above picture was taken at the otter tank at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. I am not there now.

Psycho Killer (cont.)

(This is a continuation from an earlier post. It is an open letter to people I wish I had said things to but didn't for whatever reason.)

Bernard Depperschmidt - I still feel guilty about your broken window but I swear it wasn't me even though you saw me walking around with my BB gun.

Kim Schaefer - Thanks for always believing in me. Or at least letting me include swear words in my poetry notebook freshman year. That was cool.

Mr. Schafer (no relation) - I know you were trying to stand up for Katie when you pulled me out of class to yell at me but seriously, you were scary and it didn't change the fact that we were not making fun of her.

Katie Bustamante - We were NOT making fun of you.

Drew Baumgartel - You got married.

Danny Spoelma - I wish we had tried harder on that science experiment. I really think we could have gotten it to work. Somehow, hooking a battery to a piece of tin and hammering it onto a roof doesn't seem like we were capturing the spirit of the project.

Mr. Peterson - Why didn't you get more mad when I kicked out your window?

Corie Sutton - Still feel bad about the email thing...

911 Operator who answered phone when I "tested" the payphone at the Elks Lodge in Loveland, CO - It wasn't an emergency so you didn't need to call back and get me in trouble.

I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw...

Here is a list of the top 7 things you could do while you visited me in Gilbert, AZ:

1. Go to the park.
2. Get some ice cream.
3. Visit the farm.
4. Take a walk by the canal. Yum!
5. Watch me play Halo 3.
6. Listen to music.
7. Fly home.

Yeah!

I just don't know what to do with myself

I think I'm going to nursing school in the near future. And by near, I mean at least the next 2 years, and by future, I mean not the present. Why, you ask? To become this---

Whatever we deny or embrace, for worse or for better...

For a long time I've puzzled over the relationship of post-modernity to science. How could something that claimed relativism with multiple truths be true if it could not be applied to every realm of truth? The scientific method seems to accept only one version of "truth" (you hypothesize, test that theory, and then have that theory proven or disproven) but if post-modernity is the death of reason, how will that relate to science.

Well, it seems like I'm not the only one who has thought about such things and the answer to my question came from the nerds at Wired magazine. Let me give me a quote: "But faced with massive data, this approach to science — hypothesize, model, test — is becoming obsolete. Consider physics: Newtonian models were crude approximations of the truth (wrong at the atomic level, but still useful). A hundred years ago, statistically based quantum mechanics offered a better picture — but quantum mechanics is yet another model, and as such it, too, is flawed, no doubt a caricature of a more complex underlying reality. The reason physics has drifted into theoretical speculation about n-dimensional grand unified models over the past few decades (the "beautiful story" phase of a discipline starved of data) is that we don't know how to run the experiments that would falsify the hypotheses — the energies are too high, the accelerators too expensive, and so on." (Here is the full link)

Lot of reading, and for that I'm sorry. When I read this article I got so excited. Data; pure, raw data is overwhelming the scientific process. So instead of looking for new theories, we now should look for causation. Pure brilliance, if you ask me. The world is now living post-truth and we don't know or care. And yes, I do acknowledge the irony: "If you swear/that there's/no truth/and who cares/how come you say like you're right."

Doo, doo, doo, doot. Doot doot doot!

The title of this blog comes from the music Tivo plays for you while you are on hold trying to get them to talk to you because your Tivo freezes every few hours. I must admit, after 35 minutes on hold, I do feel a little more upbeat.

Post from yesterday went over so well, I think I'm going to make it a staple here at health & the pursuit of well-being. And by "went over so well," I mean that I kept laughing at myself while I remembered it today. As of yet, not one of the people listed has contacted me.

Time to go. Tivo finally answered.

How Scandanavian of me....

Saw this today at a garden center and realized it's better than my reason...

Psycho Killer

The following is an open letter to people I have met and probably should have told them when I knew/interacted with them but didn't for whatever reason. I have not changed any of the names because then what would be the point of that?

Mrs. Bobinsky, first grade teacher - I missed you a lot when you left halfway through the year. I don't even remember the replacement teacher's name, that's how much I missed you.

Joe ????? - You are one of the most genuine people I have met and always had a smile.

Jordan Bloom - One time you invited me to spend the night while we were in first grade and I didn't really want to but thankfully my mom said I couldn't. But you were one of the cool kids so I thought I probably should to improve my street cred.

Michelle Cason - You kicked me really hard once under the table in 4th grade and I have never been more mad at a female in my life than I was with you at that moment.

Adam Odell - Remember when we went to San Diego and hung out with your friend from back home and there was a huge party and the cops came and I hid in the bedroom because I was only 19?

Adam Book - Best concert ever - Blues Traveler: July 4, 1997. Oh wait, it was a terrible concert. I know Baker went with us, but I don't know who else. But you and I went up and met the saxophonist for Agents of Good Roots with the hopes he would let us go backstage and meet Blues Traveler. He did not.

Frau Ziesche, German teacher - Sorry about all the Nazi comments. I didn't truly believe you were a Nazi. Not that there is anything wrong with that...

Erin Vandertop - Sorry I made fun of the way you run.

Robin ????? - I still am embarrassed about meeting you for the first time and saying, "Like Robin Redbreast?" and looking down and seeing your red shirt.

Skye ????? - You really were a cocky guy. But you still made out with Kristen and she was a skank with a lazy-eye.

Michael Stipe - I had dream once that I met you and you converted to be a born-again Christian. Well? Did you?

Joe Reinsch - Sorry I never scheduled lunch with you after you came back. I just didn't know how much we had in common and didn't care enough to find out.

Gary Pine - We had met on at least five different occasions before that.

Mystikal - My friend Ryan Plant knows the words to all of your first few records. I think they all suck, though.

Jennifer Barbone - I probably would have made out with you if I had known you were coming on to me and not just lacking any concept of personal space.

Jeremy ????? - You always scared me. And then you tried to make me talk to Mikyla for you. And that scared me even more. But you were the only person I ever knew who owned a Sega Saturn.

Brian Petit - Tom Petty's Honey Bee makes me think of you, not for the obvious reasons, but because we sat in the Honda one day listening to the song and laughing at the absurdity of it. It wasn't until much later that I realized no one listened to Tom Petty.

Kristen Buonpane - We said we'd get married at 70 if we were both still single and to be honest, I was a little scared of that kind of commitment. If you want to back out now, I'd be fine with it.

In the Line of Fire - You made me push my mother on to the ground so I could see your climactic ending and then she said I couldn't watch R-rated movies anymore.

Dan Fody - I truly miss your humor and didn't realize how clever, creative, and brilliant you truly were until I didn't have you around. You are the only person I know who could write for the Simpsons. I hope you are.

Chris Kelly - Similar as above, except you also had a great laugh.

Rick Lehman - You were a jerk to me, most of the time.

Peter ????? - Same as above and if you weren't mentally handicapped somebody would have stopped you.

Random friend of the Hummels - I really didn't want that bucket full of rocks to hit you in the face but I kind of did, too.

Johnny and Jimmy ????? - Same as above, except the rocks were singular, not in bucket form.

Buzz Ziegler's daughter - In case you didn't figure it out, it was us who put the note on the motorcycle that said, "Is that your head or is your neck blowing a bubble?" and "Is that your head or did your pants fall down?" I know you saw Leslie acting cool like she didn't do it and I always assumed you figured out it was us because it was her.

Leslie Malcom - Why didn't you hide?!? It would have been SOOO much better!

Butterscotch the Calf - I bet I could ride you now...

Cory Sutton - I think I accidentally deleted an email from you because it was sent to my spam folder and I didn't check it before I deleted it but thought I saw your name. No way to retrieve those, though.

Keith Sutton - I stole your Red Hot Chili Peppers album "Blood Sugar Sex Magik" in 1995 or 1996. If you want, I'll buy you another one. By the way, the case was broken when I got it so don't expect a mint replacement.

Viviana Soto - Calm down.

Well, that's all for now. More later if the pen is willing...

...so I'll float till I learn to swim...

Running with the dogs tonight I had the oddest thought as I listened to this song: Jesus is a shadow. Every other metaphor and simile doesn't quite fit for me, but for some reason, that one works very well. And as Peter Pan pointed out, we can't pin down a shadow. Well, we can't unless we have a needle, some thread, a can-do attitude, and a chipper song.

I really hate how inadequate my words are. I have these super eloquent pronouncements in my head (Christ is a shadow) and when I put them into English it reminds me of a gorilla communicating with sign language: sure, Koko can tell us she's thirsty but for chrissakes she still flings poo at her friends.

Anyway, I was thinking about the old JC because I'm really wanting to write a story about a fraudulent children's author whose target audience is Christian youth. But I don't know how to end (or start) it for that matter. Danielle thinks I should have SOME kind of redemption-she says she needs to have it-but I'm not sure that it all ends that way. It seems to me that the ending to it all is more of a whimper than a bang, but what do I know, I'm just a fraudulent author....oh, wait.

School ended today with a whimper. I go back tomorrow to check out and do all of that stuff that ensures I am sufficiently annoyed. Because I'm sure that's the main point of it all.

I still don't have a job for the summer. (Note to future self reading this: If you are smiling, keep smiling because it must have worked out. If you are dismayed, sorry how the future ended up but you can only blame yourself. If you are frowning, you must have gotten in a terrible accident that doesn't allow your face muscles to relax because frowning for this long normally causes great discomfort. If the accident was your fault, just remember: It wasn't your fault.)

Well, time to try and beat GTA IV. Tell all the kids.

I think I can help, but not myself

Just downloaded the new Gnarls Barkley, REM, and Dodos. I like me the Gnarls. It goes well with breakfast. Haven't listened to the others yet but they had pretty good reviews and if someone else likes them, then I know I will have to also.

The clock on this computer is set to CA time, but also in the evening. So it says that it is 929 PM right now, instead of 830 AM. I tried to reset it but it auto corrected my changes. Which makes me wonder: what clock is it checking itself against? And if that clock is correct, why am I behind 13 hours? It does explain why my five o'clock shadow comes earlier than expected nowadays.

Nowadays: Underused phrase that should stay underused.

I took two tests yesterday to become a teacher. I don't know if I passed and I would mention which sections I had troubles with but that would violate the very serious agreement I made with the National Evaluation Systems people that said I would not discuss test questions with any parties. That and I forgot the sections I had trouble with. Something about the Constitution?

Well, that's all I have for now. More later if the pen is willing...

When I am king, you will be first against the wall

I, too, have been disappointed with myself. Not only am I searching craigslist for summer work, but I just saw on Fox's hit tv show COPS a mulletted man get chased down by aging officers and eventually arrested. My wife just said, "You're an idiot. Tool." I think she was talking to the TV, not me. At least I hope so. That's what I get for sitting next to her while ruminating.

I am not sure what I'm going to do for the talent show that's coming up for school. I'm not funny enough to do stand-up (which is what my coworkers suggested today) and I'm not sure that I want to do anything that's not funny. D suggested interpretive dance. To Nickelback. I don't think I'm religious, but if I danced to Nickelback, I would be sure there was no God.

Stephen is doing well in the academy. It's fun to watch him get excited about something.

I just learned Radiohead is going to be at Lollapalooza this year. I wanted to have Lollapalooza in my jeans when I heard that. Which would be loud and uncomfortable, but SOOOO worth it.

I really need to learn to commmunicate in full sentences. And better spelling.

The end.

Sister Christian, you're the only one

It is with an inflated sense of purpose that I write this evening and for that, I apologize. You see, something has been bothering me lately. And by something, I mean everything. [No wait, much too morose, you've got to seem chipper, man, like a gd chipmunk.] Never mind that, everything is fine, just fine, and just you wait and see what I've got lined up for you tomorrow....

Again, inflated sense of purpose.

School is going well. Today that kids seemed like they learned, which, oddly enough, is always a surprise. They were attentive, they paid attention, and it seemed like their minds never wandered [That was an English joke]. I have been working through certification classes quite well, thank you, except for the mid-term I took today. Wow. You think I would have done a little more planning for that one. Yikes.

The breathing is getting labored and I must insist that I go to bed. I've got a lot lined up for you tomorrow, you see, and I wouldn't want you blabbering on tonight whilst you waste away for the excitement tomorrow. In case you were wondering, I'm going out to breakfast tomorrow and then to a home and garden show. I am not sure that I ever expected suburban life to look like this and yet, it does.

Peace to all and to all a good night. If Becky Imboden is reading this, wow, you are committed.

Tonight we can live as one

"I would do it again to see if I had survived through luck or by skill."

-Patrick Morrison, sophomore in my third hour, on his thoughts, feelings, etc on what he would do if he survived a NAZI CONCENTRATION CAMP.