So hurt me, so hurt me, so hurt me...

So I'm moving to Arizona tomorrow, without my best friend, confidant, and lover. What a crappy situation this is. I can't help feeling like maybe if I play my cards straight and pay attention in class that I won't get this punishment. Am I sad? Yes. But it's very odd being sad for the future when it hasn't happened yet. Anticipatory sadness, what a lovely feeling brewing in my bones.

Speaking of bones, I'm watching a documentary on Bukowski. What an interesting gentleman. He makes me want to smoke and/or be an alcoholic. Neither of which I am. But he brings such a sensibility to self-destruction, as though it were the only way to pure truth. And maybe it is. I've never destructed, so who am I to say? Or have I? Who would know? Enough existentialism, let's get on to the movies!

I've joined Hollywood Video's super happy fun club or whatever that let's me get three movies at any time. So I've seen a lot of movies in the past few days. Highlight? Idiocracy, oddly enough. Lowlight? Miami Vice. Nothing happened in the whole movie! It was like the celluloid equivalent of a Nickelback CD. So I spit in it's general direction.

Speaking of nothing happening, I have noticed my train of thought derailing so, kiss my grits. I'm out.


I want a lover I don't have to love

Bright Eyes. Lest someone is concerned I'm actually shopping for lovers...

It has been an odd time. I have changed jobs and am now a high school English teacher, or, what I set out to be 8 years ago when I left high school. Maybe now I will walk the halls with pride.

The oddest part about having a significant event take place in my life is my propensity to dwell on it when I'm alone. It's not when I'm with others, only when I'm alone. Like falling asleep. Which I'm fairly certain is the most lonely part of the day. Sleep is starting to bewilder me, and dreams are even more bizarre. Does anyone else notice that we willingly submit to lose control of our conscious minds for 8 hours at a time? Every day? And we don't have an option in the matter? I'm just saying, I'm not getting any 666 tattoo until that whole thing is explained to me.

It has also occurred to me that this blog is on the internet for everyone to see. So I've taken the precaution to edit it appropriately. I apologize to those who were hoping for a direct feed into my brain (which I'm assuming from the number of people who read this will only be me, 5 years from now); it's too late. The feed has been interrupted; all you get now is the ABC, NBC, CBS bullshit (Bright Eyes again).

I went rafting a couple of weeks ago. I had never done that before. It was great. What made it great was the company (Stephen, Dad, and Adam) and the fact that I had to sign a waiver saying I wouldn't sue if I died. Hilarious! A piece of paper versus the end of life. And the paper wins! Anyway, the fear of death was enough to validate my manhood (or just the part of it that wants to stare death in the face and see itself in the reflection) and make me feel good. And now on to Arizona. So take that world.

Not much else. Packing to move. The accumulation of goods is mystifying and after someone explains sleep to me, maybe they can explain the tendency of humans to gain "things." I digress.