I just noticed I said I would have a master's degree in March in my previous post. That was a lie. I will have a master's degree in May.
I had an odd thought the other day and that was this: I want to write letters to the me from five years ago with bits of advice. Then I realized all this would be was me trying to sound smart and tell myself everything I know now but didn't then, and to what end would that be? So I can think about either how stupid I was then or how smart I am now or how nothing is going to change in the past? Silly. I'm not old enough to worry about the past. I'll leave that until I am sitting in a rocking chair and cussing at kids.
I leave for Mexico in just over a week. Bizarre, knowing that it will probably be my last trip to Mexicali. Right now, I can only see to the next day because anything past that seems like its too far in the future and I'll never get there. Fatalistic? Of course. Who can see anything else?
And the thought that in a few billion years every single molecule in the universe will have eventually moved so far away from each other that they literally stop moving and fall apart. Matter will cease to exist. That's enough of a reason to be a nihilist. And I haven't found a compelling reason not to be...
1 year ago