Here is the update. New family portrait (seen at right), baby due in a few months, school is a little bit lighter this semester but somehow I'm busier, and we got a new car.
The lighter schedule has given me some time to think about existential things again (finally?), and I still have no clear answer. Which seems to be the answer. Definitives and absolutes really don't seem to jive with the world I see around me, and maybe that's because of my subjectivity within it, or maybe because that's one of the absolutes: the world has no absolutes. And I'm sure there are philological truths (or falses) within everything I've just dismissed, but I just don't see a lot of consistency in the natural realm.
For example, entropy. Or earthquakes. Or Everyman. (Not sure about that last one, but I went for it because it started with an "e.") I mean, when scientists and mathematicians and theorists state that even on the infinitesimally small level of quantum mechanics that we can't observe the fundamental building blocks of literally everything in the universe because as soon as we try to look at them, they've already changed. That means that we can't even know for certain our precise physical location, let alone anything beyond space time (ie deities, demons, et al).
One might say, "But I don't care EXACTLY where I am right now; I know enough to function in my day to day life." And practically speaking, I agree with them. My day won't change if I can't map out my every atom. My day will change, however, if you start to tell me that there are things beyond the measurable that I should (or could) KNOW for certain. The measurable and observable are beyond prediction and understanding; how can I believe that the answer(s) to life itself are somehow knowable? I'm just not that certain.