Get back to where you once belonged

I've been meditating every morning before I do anything else.  It's an interesting thing.  Every session I've done has been guided with the assistance of either Insight Timer or Headspace.  If I were just to set a timer and sit I have a suspicion my mind would capitalize on the silence and perseverate.  Some times I'm shocked at how quickly the time passes and other times I'm fighting to maintain any sense of focus (or non-focus, depending on how you look at it).  But I don't feel like it's taking anything away from my day and it does seem to help set a tone for the day, a tone of intentionality.

One thing I've been working on this week is viewing my kids as their own creatures.  It's stupid to view them as my agents, or as working against me or for me in the flow of life.  I'll probably murder this quote, but I heard this week that we don't look at a tree and get angry at it for leaning a certain way or being more green on one side, we just accept it.  And yet I can't do that with my children.  They are like those trees, leaning or tilting one way and if my reaction is to stifle that growth, it will likely frustrate me and them.  I'm not sure how this translates to day-to-day life and the very real fact that "we are running 15 minutes late and why don't you even have your underwear on yet because I know for a fact you were wearing it 30 minutes ago?!?" but directing mindfulness towards that just might result in less of a stress response, less of a panicky feeling, less of an anger response that could damage who we are as a little community.  In any case, I feel it's worthy of an attempt.

Still reading "Power of Now."  Ordered Ram Dass' "Be Here Now" which maybe I'm not ready for and will stumble into later.  Despite my best attempts to intellectualize this process, I'm trying to just accept it as it is.