and another thing

Not much has happened since I last complained. I still am not sure about the role of church in my life and how to find a church that fits me. I still think I'm pretty much a cynic. And I just don't know how everything works together.

Yesterday I had a rad class with Dr. Sarah Sumner. I'm in her God, Creation and Humanity class and there was just so much science dropped on us it wasn't even funny. So much information was passed and thoughts discussed and I am so excited to get into it more. We are pretty much studying theology (or as she puts it, "the study of the revelation of God, because how do you study God? He's not an object of creation, he's the subject of creation.") and how that has impacted the church and its people. I'm really excited about the possibilities of it.

We spent a little time talking about lying and why it's bad. Most of the answers had to do with its inherent evil, which was apparently not totally correct, and she said, "Lying is bad because it destroys community. It erodes trust and without trust you cannot build a concrete community." Not one of us thought of that, almost 30 of us, most of us ministers in the church and the best we could come up with was that it separates us from God. I pray that this class changes all of our views of God and how that impacts our lives. I want nothing more than to see how God has interacted with us and what he has told us about himself. He/she is good, and I am excited to be challenged.

I miss my brother.

On Thursday I'll be flying to Atlanta. That's that.

Bamboozled is a great movie. There was so much in that that Spike Lee covered that I still am trying to figure it all out. Each stereotype is addressed and criticized and I really appreciated his ability to that in a way that wasn't pandering anymore than was deserved.

I love my wife, and I am trying to figure out how to love her more. Right now I'm still trying to understand our different love languages. Danielle's is touch and mine is verbal affirmation. I don't know really what it means to be physical without at least nodding and winking towards sex. There is so much value in physical touch that isn't sexual and I'm trying to find that balance. Human's just need to be touched and my challenge to myself is how to integrate that in a way that is respectful and makes her feel loved and cherished. Do I cherish enough? Is that verb too antiquated? I cherish memories; I think my wife deserves a better verb but none come to mind. So I guess I'll cherish her more. She does deserve that.

Lord, may I not withhold forgiveness and grace because of my own sinfulness. May I not resent her or hold grudges against her but make sure she always understands Your grace through my actions. I love her so much and want her to always know that. And if she can't, may she always feel your grace. Take away those things in her life that distract her from your perfect love. And can she never feel far from you? Can you give her extra understanding of your faithfulness and desire for her life? Thanks. I love you and will talk to you later.

Peace and wisdom to all.