So very special

I don't care if it hurts.
I want to have control.
I want a perfect body.
I want a perfect soul.
I want you to notice when I am not around.

I was walking back from getting the mail tonight and heard these lyrics from Radiohead's Creep album. It reminded me a lot of a book I'm reading called Searching for God Knows What, by Donald Miller. His main theory is that since the fall, humans (as individuals) have looked for approval and confidence and worth from each other. This is what causes cliques and competition and sin in general. It seems true. We are all very very interested in our own preservation, even at the expense of everyone around us.

I like the lyrics because they contain what I am so often: only concerned with control and perfection at any cost, but also demanding that people miss me. It's so selfish and I can't believe that it took me this long to see just how selfish living can be. Miller posits that only life in a relationship with Christ can change that selfishness. If people look to God for their identity and worth, they will have no need to compete with each other, whether it's competeting with money or looks or job status or wit or anything. People could live in peace if it weren't for their ruinous nature.

If you ever get the chance to hear Honestly, by Zwan, do it. Billy Corgan's voice and lyrics are full of love and it is so powerful musically that it makes you think he's found hope. That's a powerful thing, hope.

Faith, hope, and love. Those three remain. Because what else would you need if you had those? Nothing. Faith, hope, and love. Those things cannot be taken away or wished into existence. Either they are real or they aren't. Either I have them or I don't. Faith that breeds hope which grows love. Love which hopes within faith. Hope that seeks love with faith.

I wonder if it's heretical to compare these to the Trinity. Could we say that the Father is faith, the Spirit is hope, and the Son is love? I guess they cannot be divided because they are one. But the point that all of them interact perfectly with one another is mind-boggling. And so it is with faith, hope, and love. How can you love perfectly without hope? How can you have faith without love? It seems lopsided if you only have one or two of the three.

Enough for now. More later if the pen is willing.