This is the end, my only friend, the end

I told you all that it didn't matter whether or not I turned the lights off or not. Now scientists say that global warming can't be stopped.

Global warming is irreversible, study says

So long polar bears!

Everything is changing and I still feel the same

So my dog blew out his knee. Like the equivalent of what would be an ACL in a human. So we probably have to get surgery on it. Which is silly, because he's just a dog but then again, maybe he'll call 911 when we're having seizures and save our lives. You never can tell what man's best friend is going to do.

Also, I'm in nursing school now. I quit my job in December and have decided to pursue a career in the medical field. It was a huge step and I'm glad I did it but of course, it's a distinct difference from working full time. I started January 5th. So far, it's been good. Tomorrow I have to read a bazillion pages and then take notes on them and then memorize a buttload of terms. In case it was unknown, a buttload is the medical term for approximately 35.

Honestly, life is good. I feel like things are coming together and I have some kind of direction in my life and also, all my dark colored clothes are clean so what else do I need?

More later, if the pen is willing.

Cuz it's 187 on a ...

A math problem: SJS versus 6 ft, 200 lb, 30 year old PCP user = 8 stitches and one tazed suspect

That hunger is a lack of cat food

Forget the homeless, save Gilbert's cats.

Hey girl, how you doing?

I tried to tell everyone but no one is listening anymore. BLACK WOMEN IN THE U.S. ARE SHRINKING!!!

And here you thought you were just getting taller.

Too rich too poor

So I was perusing the interwebs and found this entirely sublime gallery of pictures taken by a cat named Cooper with a special camera. I don't know why I enjoyed it so much, except that some of the pictures are so peaceful that it makes me think that this cat was somehow finding bliss in just sitting and looking that the world around him. I think this cat can teach us something. Like how to clean ourselves with our tongues.

You better you bet

This has been an overwhelming November for me. First, I voted even though economically speaking it makes no sense. Then, I decided to buy stock to stimulate the economy. Then, I played through Weezer's My Name is Jonas on medium and only missed 4 or 5 notes in it. Then I played football-with other people. Then, today I ANSWERED A GOVERNMENTAL SURVEY!

I couldn't believe my luck when five days ago I got a notice from the census bureau saying I would be receiving a survey in a few days and I would have to fill it out and it would be not only an American thing to do, it would be against law not to. So I spent 30 minutes today while CSI: Miami was on in the background answering questions about my raceemploymentincomeinsurance, my wife's raceemploymentincomeinsurance, my brother's raceemploymentincomeinsurance, etc. And I hope they take this information and turn this world into a better place.

I did just realize, however, that I might be sending an identity theft a lot of my information, so if this is a complex scam, congratulations! Here, take my hand! Take my whole life, too! Because I can't stop falling in love with you! Hmmm. Something isn't right...

That's the way we became the Brady Bunch!

Black Friday update: One maintenance worker dead in an NY Wal*Mart after being trampled by frugal shoppers. Two people shot in a Palm Desert Toys*R*Us over a "personal dispute."

I went to Circuit City and didn't see anything there worth shooting someone over.

I went to Michael's and almost had a panic attack because I felt so out of place. I seriously debated buying a cookie tin (A COOKIE TIN) just so I could use my 50% off one item coupon.

I went to Lowe's and the garage storage unit that had been marked $50 off was already sold out. Apparently you can't go into a store at 2 pm and expect the hot deals to be lined up for you.

I was watching an auction on eBay for a "Umlocked iPhone" (sic) that was incredibly low but then the seller pulled it from the webernet so no one could bid on it. Apparently he wanted more than $11.50 for it.

I did buy a router on eBay but that was mostly so I could use my coupon.

Also, Stephen left today for the Great Northwest. I guess I'll have to get by somehow.

The end of the beginning of the end

It's official. I am an EMT.

This one's for me/not for anyone else/I need it you see

I threw all I had, into the sea...

I voted on Tuesday, and it was a big deal for me. I hadn't voted in a few years and it was primarily from an economic standpoint: my vote doesn't count. It just doesn't. But a couple of weeks ago, I decided that if there was even a chance that Sen. Barack Obama could bring about the change he was championing, I wanted to say I had a part in it.

I went to the my polling place and got choked up as I walked to the door. I couldn't say why, really, I just felt that voting in this election went beyond civic duty, beyond being the right thing to do, and became something I was compelled to do because somewhere in this cynical mind of mine, I love this country. It was while reading Audacity of Hope that I realized that despite our nation's warts and ugly scars there is still something redeemable about this place.

And late Tuesday night, something happened that hasn't happened in years: I was proud to be an American.

Yesterday a couple of my coworkers (from Europe) said they were scared by McCain's concession speech, especially when he said that, "America is the greatest country in the world." I think they were concerned with the nationalistic tone of the statement and even, jokingly, compared him to Hitler and Mussolini. And I'm sure that blind nationalism is entirely scary to foreigners, especially those whose country was bowled over by tanks and guns and soldiers who believed their own country was the greatest in the world.

But a phrase like that is similar to saying your family is the greatest in the world. Not only is it relative (no pun), but you say it despite the members who don't talk to each other or the way they treat outsiders or their seemingly contradictory stance on gossip about other members. You say it because you need to know that something you belong to is significant. And you say it because you need convincing that you can put up with all of the silly/stupid/bad things. And you say it for you. It's not a judgment on other families; it's a statement that reconciles your sphere of influence with your insecurities.

And that's why I say this is the greatest country in the world: because when I compare America to other nations, we fall short in many ways. But when I realize that the same rich history which caused many of our problems also inherently allows us the ability to change who we are, I realize I wouldn't give that up.

I'm proud to be American. And I'm proud to have voted, not because it counted, but because I could.

Does that make me a stranger?

It struck me today that there are several things that either make you a genius or very truly crazy and the line is very thin:

1. Creating an alter ego. This can be seen in musicians, actors, writers, et al, but can also be found in the guy on the corner telling you that he is either Superman, Jesus Christ, or a grilled cheese sandwich.

2. Growing a beard and not caring about your appearance. Again, either you have rejected society's standards or society has rejected yours.

3. Writing poetry. Writing poetry well makes you a genius. Writing poetry poorly makes you a lifeless ingenue.


4. People who commit suicide. If you kill yourself for art, you are a troubled genius who saw this life as the sham it was. If you kill yourself for a religion, girlfriend, or just happened to be experimenting with some weird choking fetish, you are crazy.



5. Being a politician. Either you are absolutely infatuated with humankind and its improvement or you are a megalomaniacal narcissist who will try to kill us all.



6. Speaking several languages. People who can speak and study in several languages are brilliant, but people who speak in several languages to no one in particular are crazy.



So far, this is it. First the good news: if you aren't one of these people, you aren't crazy. Bad news? If you aren't one of these people, you aren't a genius.

Don't have to live like a refugee

Finally, someone is addressing the real issues.

Un deux trois, de mirroire noir

Update from the land of Nod:

Almost done with my EMT class.  So far, so good:  no one dead.  My A&P class is going well too, but I can't kill anyone online.

Toby keeps getting into the trash.  He used to jump up and grab the bag and pull it down.  I filled the bottom of it with at least 40 pounds of rock.  Now he just grabs onto the bag and shreds any part of it that is hanging over the edge.  I'm going to electrify it next and see if he likes that.  Also, I'm going to develop a way to electrify plastic.

I'm thinking about getting my pilot's license.  And by thinking about it, I mean watching a show on jets.

Lots going on in the news.  My Apple stock is back to what I bought it at.  Makes me want to buy more.  Which I would, if I weren't saddled with thousands of dollars of debt for education/a house/your mom.  She's an expensive one.

Well, kiss my grits.

Band montaaaaaggggggeeee!!!

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Giggled a lot at this 'un. See minute 1:51 for my favorite part.

Got a Devils Haircut

in my mind!

You were a boy...

This cannot be happening...

Gotta live, gotta live, gotta live, in a town

Another week has come and gone, and I would be remiss if I neglected to point out my favorite part of the week: a dual broken sprinkler head. One of my favorite things is when automatic sprinklers have a busted piece on them, causing the water to shoot straight up into the air instead of on to the grass. I laugh out loud when I see these and get stupidly giddy.

I don't really know why. If someone asks, I tell them it's just the absurdity of it: someone has cared enough to manicure and care for their lawn but now gallons of water are pouring into the street instead of the lawn. And it just looks silly. I probably shouldn't read into it too much, because I'm tempted to analyze it and search for some deeper meaning about my psyche. Meh. It's just funny.

Trust me: it's funny. Climb into my head and tell me it's not funny. (Mitch Hedburg's new CD is wonderful. Tell the kids.)

Welcome to paradise...

(Found in the notebook of the quietest girl in any of my classes)

Don't touch me again John Stamos. Who couldn't get any work. C U later.

God bless America

For the love of Nothingness...
And when you're finished there, check this out.

We're fated to pretend...

It is without irony that I announce my week's wrap-up. These are the bits of minutiae that have saved my life, more than once some of them. In no particular order, here is:

1. The reason voting doesn't matter. Stephen sent me a link to this excellent video which illustrates our small size in the universe, relative to some of the biggest stars in our neighborhood.


2. Obama's acceptance speech. Even the fine Pat Buchanan heaped praise on this beaut:



3. Stephen finished his first week actually out on the streets. He has a blog which you can find here. He's a good boy.

4. We jumped the fence last night and swam in our neighbor's pool. The house is for sale and you can buy it here if you want.

Well, that's all for now.

P.S. means post-script.